50th BIRTHDAY SONG
by Eric Williams

(Sung to the tune of
“What a friend we have in Jesus”)

We wish you a happy birthday
Eat your cake and have your fill
Take a nap and try to downplay
The fact that you’re now over the hill
Sometimes your blood pressure rises
And you start to feel real low
But this is not your Midlife crisis
That already happened years ago

Though you’re challenged by night driving
And your back is wracked with pain
But you’re a model of surviving
Cause you can still walk without a cane
Arthritis, rheumatism and gout
Afflict your arms and legs and feet
Plus it’s hard to find a boy scout
When you need help crossing the street

As your eyesight’s growing darker
And your memory starts to fade
You can still watch Bobby Barker
Just turn up your hearing aid
Though you’ve grown a little pudgy
There’s no need to scream and shout
You can still eat chocolate fudgies
At least until your teeth fall out

    You stay strong throughout all Seasons
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall
And we know the many reasons
B-12 shots and Geritol
You take many medications
All those drugs extent your life
The childproof caps don’t try your patience
You open them with a butcher knife

Now that you face life at fifty
With wrinkled skin and graying hair
We still think it’s kind of nifty
That you don’t need a power chair
You deserve a life of leisures
But you don’t want to be bored
So join up with the other Geezers
For BINGO games and Shuffleboard

Your birthday cake has chocolate icing
And it looks so very nice
With candles numbering only nineteen
Of course, that is only on one slice
You have had so many birthdays
And we wish you many more
You have lived 18,262 days
But it’s not like we’re keeping score

So on this - your special birthday
Celebrations all day long
But if these lyrics rubbed the wrong way
Know that Mr. Williams wrote this song.

And he knows what he’s talking about!